Beginnings (Re-entering)
The entering stage begins when your mind is unpacked, and it lasts until you are fully involved again. Just crossing the border into your passport country does not mean that you are really back into your passport culture. It takes time and energy to reenter the culture, get updated, and become a part of social groups again. In the last chapter we saw that the Israelites were to “take possession” of their passport country which “God was giving” them. God was giving it to them, but it was not theirs until they took possession of it. It took them several years to do so.
The Longest Reentry
In preparing Joshua to help the Israelites enter their passport country, God gave him several wonderful promises in the first five verses of the book. He followed these up with several commands.
The Israelites had seen God’s power displayed as they left Egypt by walking on the dry ground at the bottom of the Red Sea (Exodus 14). They saw it displayed again in a similar way as they entered their passport country by walking on the dry ground at the bottom of the Jordan River (Joshua 3:14-17). God had them build a memorial from stones taken from the river bottom so that their children would remember it forever (Joshua 4:20-23).
God told Joshua, “I have delivered Jericho into your hands”—and then told Joshua what he had to do for the next seven days to actually take the city (Joshua 6:2). It was a “done deal”—as long as he obeyed. Joshua obeyed and reminded the people about keeping away from the “devoted things” that were to belong only to God, and they had a wonderful victory as they took the city. Unfortunately, Joshua 7 begins with, “But the Israelites acted unfaithfully in regard to the devoted things.” The ups and downs continue during the entering stage as well.
Of course, the Israelites did not receive a warm welcome when they moved onto the west bank. In fact, most of the people there prepared to go to war with them (Joshua 9:1-3). Likewise, you may be disappointed in the welcome you receive in your passport country—though war is not likely.
One thing that happened to the Israelites was that a group of people deceived them. Those people pretended to be from far away and spoke favorably about God. The Israelites made a peace treaty with them without consulting the Lord and later realized they had been tricked. You may well be disappointed in people back home even if they do not deceive you.
Again and again Joshua comes back to what God told him at the beginning. “Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Be strong and courageous” (Joshua 10:25). This is a great verse to remember as you go through the entering stage yourself.
Reentry Today
Though it took the Israelites about seven years to enter their passport culture, it usually takes about a year, a full annual cycle. Keep in mind that many things have changed while you have been gone. You have changed, as have your friends, your family, your church and your culture. It takes time to reenter the culture. Of course, things are never the same as they were, but if you remain long enough, they reach a new state of equilibrium where you are again be “at home” in your passport culture.
You have changed
Living in another culture and learning another language makes you realize that people view the world in different ways. Though you may have thoroughly disliked your host culture as you went through culture shock while becoming part of it, you now may find that you dislike things about your passport culture, things that you thought were good when you left. You may find that you do not “feel at home” when you get “home” and view it through your new framework.
Your friends have changed
You were so much looking forward to picking up where you left off with your close friends, but you may not be able to do that. You see familiar faces, but not familiar people. Just as you have been changed by your experiences overseas, so they have been changed by their experiences at home. You may be unable to “be yourself” and relax around them, and neither can they around you. You get together with a group of old friends and find out that the social network of the group has changed, and different people are now best friends in the group. You just aren’t able to break into the group or even carry on a lengthy conversation because you have so little in common.
Just as the Israelites were not joyfully received in their passport culture, you may not be enthusiastically welcomed in yours. Though war is not declared on you, you may find the welcome home more polite than joyful, and you may be disappointed in your underwhelming welcome. You have to be the one to initiate relationships rather than waiting for others to do so. Invite people over for dinner or table games. Suggest that you all go for a hike or some other activity together. Doing this several times will likely result in connecting with new friends or reconnecting with old ones.
Your family has changed
When you meet family, you realize that the middle aged members are heavier, the retired ones are grayer and aged ones are feebler. In addition to the obvious outward changes, some have also changed inwardly. Just as you have been changed by your experiences, so have they.
Some members of your family may no longer be alive; you miss them, and you realize that you have never really grieved for them, but everyone else is past that. Others in your family may have married since you left, and you now have new in-laws as part of the family, people you do not really know.
Your church has changed
You really loved your church when you left, but you are disillusioned by it now. People in it have such narrow perspectives. It seems like members are just apathetic and there is little spirituality there. You have a new pastor and the governing board of the church has new members. Long-time members of the church are gone. You want to share in a service, but the pastor will not allow you to since you did not serve with the denominational mission. You may find yourself becoming judgmental of the church and even developing disappointment, resentment, and bitterness against God.
Your culture has changed
Elections held while you were gone may have put new people with new policies in power. Moral standards may have changed so that you are appalled at what you see on television and see on magazine covers at the checkout counter. Underlying philosophical changes may have taken place that change the way people think as they make decisions. You may notice more wealth and materialism. You may notice how superficial many relationships are. Of course, some of these “changes” may really be changes in you.
Time Orientation
During the entering phase, you begin to change from the future orientation of transit back toward an emphasis on the present. As you do this you realize that the confusion and loneliness of the early part of the entering stage is temporary, that you will ultimately be able to live in the present again.
Social Characteristics
You may find yourself a marginal person on the edge of groups, observing more than participating. Your relationships are mostly superficial since you are not sure exactly where you fit, and you are not quite sure how to interpret nonverbal behaviors when you interact. No one is quite sure how long you will remain where you are since you are new, so acceptance is tentative and relationships are often viewed as temporary. You would like to find a “mentor” to help you break into the social network, but the ones most interested in befriending you seem to be marginal persons too.
Spiritual Characteristics
The commands of Joshua 1 are as relevant for reentry today as they were thousands of years ago. While obeying these specific commands, here are some other things to be aware of as you enter your passport country and take possession of it.
Psychological Characteristics
You may tend to feel rather fearful and vulnerable, not sure what is going to happen and not wanting to do something offensive. Mainly you feel lonely and somewhat confused. At times you are rather miserable and even depressed. Of course, you know that sometime you will find your place, but you hope it will be sooner rather than later.
Pitfalls to avoid
You will face many difficult situations. Here are some of the most common.
· Frustration. Things will be different, and some of those differences will be very frustrating. For example, while overseas, your family may have been closer because there was no TV and you home-schooled your children. Back home TV, school activities, many church activities, sporting events, club activities, etc. will separate family members.
· Disillusionment. You return home all excited about what you have been doing, but everyone at home seems so apathetic. As one person put it, “They are comatose and don’t even know it.”
· Judgmental. It is very easy to become critical, condemning others in the face of their apparent apathy. You may confuse the narrower functions of the mission agency (outreach and training for most) with the very broad functions of your local church.
· Bitterness and Hostility. If you let these things progress far enough, you may become bitter inside and let that express itself in hostility toward the very people who supported you financially and with prayer.
Suggestions for avoiding pitfalls
Pitfalls can be avoided, or at least made less disruptive to your life and witness. Here are some suggestions.
· Grieve your losses. If you have not taken time to grieve during leaving or traveling, take some time to do so after you arrive. Although time will be at a premium, set aside a few minutes each day (perhaps during your devotional time) to fully grieve what you have left behind.
· Be honest. Do not let pride (spirituality?) keep you from sharing your struggle with someone. Find someone (another missionary, a close friend who will keep a confidence, a counselor who understands missionaries, etc.) who will mentor you in adjusting to life back home.
· Adjust to changes in ministry. Most likely you will not be doing the same kind of ministry that you were on the mission field. What you do may seem quite mundane in comparison. However, all avenues of service are pleasing to God, and you can find a way to be a servant in any local church.
· Thank your supporters. Even if you are not given the chance to speak to all the people in your church during a service, find some way to thank those who have helped you. Perhaps you can invite them over for a meal you learned to prepare while in another culture and share what God did in and through you.
· Reach out to people. Whatever you do, continue to reach out to people as you did on the field. As you reach out, people will see how you have changed and perhaps want to experience the same changes in their lives.
Debriefing
You may say, “I already know about debriefing because I’ve been through it several times. As I left for home, the field director asked me to rate the adequacy of my housing, whether or not I felt overworked, how my kids got along in school, how many people came to Christ under my ministry…” Then I did nearly the same thing again at headquarters with someone there.
That is one kind of debrief, an organizational debrief. That is necessary for the agency to gather information, and it is done primarily for the good of the agency. However, even more important is a personal debrief, one done primarily for your own good. This debrief may be done individually or as part of a group of people who have been through similar experiences, such as a traumatic experience or returning to your passport country. It is an opportunity to reflect on the meaning of personal experiences as well as changes within yourself and your family.
Personal debriefs should not be done immediately after you have arrived in your passport country. You will be unable to think clearly and process all that is needed until after you have gotten settled where you are going to live, greeted friends and family and your life is in order—as much as it ever will be.
Jonah, an early cross-cultural missionary, had just been part of a city-wide revival in Nineveh, but he was filled with anger. God himself debriefed Jonah, asking him, “Do you have a right to be angry?” Jonah apparently did not reply but went off to sulk a while. After more things went wrong, God again asked, “Do you have a right to be angry?” This time Jonah finally let all his anger out so that God and he could deal with it together.
Of course, debriefing is also good after a great experience. When the 72 returned from their evangelistic campaign (Luke 10:17), they were filled with joy and enthusiastic that even the demons had submitted. At this point, Jesus cautioned them not to get carried way with the power they had experienced, but with the fact that their names were written in heaven.
Why Debrief?
This personal debrief is particularly helpful in times of crisis or transition to help bring closure to an earlier chapter in your life and to help you leave behind any emotional “baggage” that accumulated during that time. The debriefing time helps you do three things.
· Verbalize. Expressing your thoughts and feelings verbally clarifies both. As you talk with others, you may find that you do not like what you hear yourself saying.
· Normalize. Whether in a group or with someone who understands your situation, you are likely to find that you are not alone in what you think and feel. You will come to realize that such thoughts and feelings are normal, that others have the same ones.
· Contextualize. A good debrief helps you put your experiences into the context of your life. You can relate those experiences to earlier events in your life and see how God is using them to prepare you for the future.
You may not be angry like Jonah was, but your experience may have left you frightened, discouraged, exhausted, emotionally drained, or any number of things. Here are several questions that will help.
Where are you?
God asked this question of the man in the garden in Genesis 3:9. Since God knew where the man was, why ask the question? To get the man to express where he was—not where he was geographically, but where he was psychologically and spiritually. Note that the man answers by telling what he experienced (heard God), what he felt (was afraid), and what he did (hid).
Ask yourself the following BASIC questions.
· Behaviorally. Are your actions what you want them to be?
· Affectively. Are you satisfied with your feelings, your emotions?
· Spiritually. Is your relationship with God alive and growing?
· Interpersonally. Are your relationships with your family and/or colleagues positive?
· Cognitively. Can you concentrate, thinking clearly and logically?
What have you done?
God asked this question of the woman in the garden in Genesis 3:13. As with the man, God knew what the woman had done. However, he wanted her to say it, to confess. She did, but she blamed the serpent for her wrong actions. If you have done bad things, God wants repentance, not rationalization or projection.
In Luke 9:10 we find the apostles returning from their first short-term evangelistic assignment and reporting to Jesus what they had done, good things. Again, Jesus did not stop them from reporting what had happened because it was good for them to talk, to verbalize it. It was also good for them to hear what the others had to report as well, to normalize their own experiences.
After the first long-term cross-cultural missionary assignment, Paul and Barnabas told their sending church and other churches they visited on the way to Jerusalem about the conversions taking place under their ministry (Acts 14:27; 15:3).
Where have you been?
An angel asked Hagar, “Where have you come from?” (Genesis 16:8). The angel was not puzzled about finding this woman along a road in the desert and was not simply wondering what village she was from. The angel wanted Hagar to know where she had been emotionally, and Hagar realized that.
Hagar replied, “I am running away from…” Sometimes missionaries run away from people who mistreat them when they try to help. In fact, it is often those you help the most that turn on you and hurt you the most.
After you have talked about it, you may find that sometimes God wants you to shake the dust off your feet and leave, and at other times he will say, “Go back….and submit,” as the angel told Hagar. However, God always wants you to verbalize (confess) it and submit it to him.
As you think about where you have been, consider how these past events fit in with your life story. How is God using them to make you into the person he wants you to be?
Where are you going?
The angel went on to ask Hagar, “Where are you going?” (Genesis 16:8). Hagar did not even attempt to answer this question. However, the angel told Hagar where she should go and what she should do. Hagar obeyed.
At the end of Acts 15 Paul suggested to Barnabas that they return to the towns they had visited on their first term of missionary service to see how their converts were doing. Paul had some ideas about who to take, where to go, and what to do. However, as you know, the future was dramatically different. He took Silas, went to Europe, and planted more churches.
It is good for us to think about where we are going and make plans for the future, but we must remain open to other plans God may have for us. If he wants us elsewhere doing other things, he will stop us. Then he will send us to a different place to do something different. In chapter 16 the Holy Spirit stopped Paul from going particular places and gave him a vision of where he was to go.
What has God done with you?
This question is not one we find directly asked by anyone in Scripture, but it is a question we find returning missionaries answering to particular groups.
· When Paul and Barnabas returned to their sending church at the end of their first term of missionary service, they “reported all that God had done with them” (Acts 14:27). During missionary service God works in people’s lives and changes them. The Greek word “meta” is used hundreds of times in the New Testament and is the simple word for “with.” Just as Jeremiah talks about what the potter does with the clay, we need to become aware of what God has done with us. (Unfortunately, a few modern translations have translated “meta” as “through,” but it basically means “with.”)
· When Paul and Barnabas reached Jerusalem, they again “reported all that God had done with them” (Acts 15: 4). They had seen God work and were firmly convinced that anyone could be saved by grace, even without following all the Jewish customs.
Note that Paul and Barnabas reported this to their sending church and to the leaders at headquarters, but they did not report this to the people in the churches they visited along the way. Some things are better shared only with others who understand what God does with people who serve him in other cultures.
Take a break!
Finally, a time of rest is important at the time of the debriefing, whether after a crisis or during a time of transition.
· When the apostles came back after their first evangelistic assignment (Luke 9:10), Jesus and the apostles withdrew by themselves a while. Writing about this Mark noted that after they had reported to Jesus what they had done, the crowds descended on them all. They were so busy that they did not even have time to eat. So Jesus told them to come with him to a quiet place and get some rest (Mark 6:31).
· Likewise after they had reported to their sending church, Paul and Barnabas “stayed there a long time with the disciples” (Acts 14:28).
Such times of rest around the time of debriefing are very important. Give yourself time during the transition or after the crisis to get the rest you need. Today, as in New Testament times, many things will come up that will put demands on your time. For your own good and the good of the Kingdom, make getting away to a quiet place and getting some rest a high priority.
Several books about reentry are available free of charge on www.missionarycare.com. All of these contain not only information about reentry but also thought-provoking questions that help missionaries process what is happening.
· A book for adults about preparing for reentry to be used during the last few months while still on the field at http://www.missionarycare.com/ebook.htm#before_reentry (Chapters 6-7)
· A book for elementary age children to be used by them during the last few months while still on the field at http://www.missionarycare.com/ebook.htm#going_home (Chapters 8-11)
· A book for the parents of elementary children that parallels the children’s book above at http://www.missionarycare.com/ebook.htm#going_home (Chapters 8-11)
· A book for adults about processing their reentry to be used a few weeks after returning to their passport countries at http://www.missionarycare.com/ebook.htm#reentry (Chapters 1-6)
· A book for adults to use after returning from short-term missionary service at http://www.missionarycare.com/ebook.htm#shortterm (Chapters 3-6)